A Cowboy in Her Arms Page 10
Joel was really starting to dislike Wade Porter.
“Thanks,” Joel said. “Don’t know how they got out.”
Wade grinned like he knew the answer to that one. When he spotted Callie, his eyes lit up. “That was you driving that rig, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. Why?”
Joel watched Callie’s face and sensed the anger bubbling up inside her as if she didn’t need anyone criticizing her driving.
Wade turned to Joel. “Man, oh, man, that was some kinda driving! Whoo-hoo!” Wade walked past Joel and came over to Callie, who sat at the kitchen table. “Let me just say, my heart was in my throat when I saw you whip around that corner and head right for those two animals. I’d been following them on horseback and I thought for sure you were going to hit them, but you maneuvered that rig like you were driving a fine-tuned racecar. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything finer.”
Joel stood beside the still-open door, unable to move, stunned by the revelation. He had a hard time digesting what Wade was saying.
“This woman can outdrive anyone I’ve ever seen. She avoided a major accident with the skill of a professional. I tell ya, it was amazin’. You should be mighty thankful she was behind that wheel and not someone else. I’m assuming your daughter is fine?”
Joel nodded, powerless to speak.
“As soon as I saw you drive up, I went after your horses, not wanting them to cause any more near misses, or worse.”
“Thank you, Wade,” Polly told him.
“Now,” Wade said to Joel, “let me show you how to fix that corral gate so those ornery animals can’t escape again.”
Joel simply nodded and followed Wade outside, still trying to assimilate everything he’d just learned. He felt certain now that if he’d been behind the wheel, things may not have gone, as well.
That one thought rattled him to his core.
Chapter Seven
By the time Wade left, he’d fixed just about every latch on the ranch, and Joel couldn’t have been more impressed by his knowledge and generosity. He finally realized that accepting help from someone was a good thing, especially when that someone knew what they were doing and was willing to teach him...which Wade had done. That was the secret—learning how to do it for himself, with the assistance of an expert, a live expert instead of a video.
Now Joel felt confident he could repair or replace any latch, lock, broken gate or doorknob anywhere. Not that any of them would need his newfound expertise since he’d officially accepted Wade’s help and asked him to come by on a weekly basis. He was grateful and pleased that Wade had agreed.
Joel recognized how bullheaded he’d been, and it took a near accident to make him understand that people in the country liked to help out whenever they could. All he had to do was say yes...which he finally did to Wade, and whoever else Wade wanted to bring by. The fence still needed mending, and there were still a ton of jobs to do around the house and property, particularly that roof. He hadn’t been back up there since he’d fallen off.
“I’ll take that ride back to my truck now,” Callie said as she entered the barn. Joel had just secured both Golden Girl and Rockabilly in their box stalls for the night and was about to walk over to the house to apologize to Callie for acting like a jerk.
“Sure,” he said.
All at once, the sight of her took his breath away. She stood outlined by a full moon, her rich black hair tousled around her face, her pretty blue dress caressing her body like it had been tailored just for her curves, the color enhancing her deep blue eyes.
She wore one of his shirts draped over her shoulders, for warmth, no doubt. The night air had turned cold.
“I hope you don’t mind, but the nights can get chilly around here and my jacket is back in my truck.”
She slipped her arms through the shirtsleeves, then rubbed her forearms.
“Don’t mind at all,” he told her, loving how his shirt looked on her and wishing he could surround her with his warmth, that he could take her in his arms.
He didn’t know if what he was feeling for her was due to the fact that she’d managed to avoid a horrible accident that afternoon or that he’d finally allowed all the pent-up emotions he felt for her to come pouring out. Either way, he wanted nothing more than to start all over again.
“I assume Polly took care of feeding you?” he asked.
“Yes, and I made a pig out of myself, two bowls of soup and three slices of bread with plenty of butter. Polly’s chicken noodle soup is the best. Just the way I remembered it from when I’d spend the entire day here with Sarah, helping out with chores.”
“Sarah told me so little about that time. Anything I knew about it, I learned from you.”
“I haven’t really thought about any of that in years. Too angry, I suppose.”
Golden Girl poked her head out of the boxed stall, blew out air and stomped a foot.
Callie went over to her and stroked her neck. The mare seemed to love it and nudged in closer.
“She likes you. I’m still a little awkward around them. I think they pick up on it. I was always envious of you and your family...from some of the stories you’d tell about living on the ranch, and your love of animals.”
“In all that time we were together, I don’t think you ever really told me much about your folks.” Callie continued to stroke Golden Girl.
“That’s because there wasn’t anything much to tell. I grew up in private boarding schools mostly, and only came home for holidays and for a couple weeks during the summer. My parents were always too busy to have me around.”
“That’s too sad. I guess I was lucky. Still am. I live on the family ranch with my parents and one of my sisters, Kenzie, who more or less runs things now. My dad still makes the final decisions, but it’s Kenzie who handles the day-to-day stuff.
“My mom does most of the cooking. Not that we all don’t know how. We do. And some of us are good cooks, but there’s nothing like Mom’s. You, Polly and Emma should come over this Sunday night for dinner. That’s when my mom typically outdoes herself.”
The invitation brightened Joel’s spirits and made him hopeful for a budding friendship. “That would be nice. I know Polly would love it, and so would Emma.”
“Then Sunday it is. Now, I really should be heading home.”
Golden Girl whinnied when Callie stopped petting her.
“She doesn’t want you to leave just yet,” Joel urged, “and neither do I.”
It was the first time they’d had a real conversation since he’d arrived in Briggs, and he didn’t want it to end so soon.
A genuine smile flashed on Callie’s face. “She’s a real sweetheart.”
Callie ignored his comment about wanting her to stay, so he let it go.
“I think she’s glad to be home,” Joel said, thankful the horses were safe and unharmed. “They both walked right into their stalls tonight without so much as a flinch.”
Callie now stood only a few feet away from Joel. She was so close he could almost reach out and touch her, but he controlled his desire.
“They have a sense about them. It was a tough day, and I’m sure they’re happy to be home.”
“We all are. Thank you for keeping yourself and my girl safe this afternoon. I’ll be forever grateful.”
Callie smiled, and he wanted to drop to his knees right there. A mere thank-you didn’t seem like enough. Not only was he grateful for his daughter’s safety, but he now realized just how grateful he was for Callie’s safety. He couldn’t handle it if anything happened to either one of them.
“Not a problem. I was only doing what I’d been trained to do from years of driving a truck on my ranch.”
He took a step closer, hoping she wouldn’t move away. He felt drawn to her, as if he’d lost all power over his emotions.
“Thanks, but these guys had a little something to do with it, as well. They ran off in the opposite direction.” She scratched Golden Girl behind her right ear, then stroked her long neck. “Didn’t you, girl? You’re one smart sweetheart, aren’t you?”
Golden Girl moved back a few steps, then bobbed her head as if she was agreeing with what Callie had said.
Both Joel and Callie laughed at Golden Girl’s antics. It was then that he knew he had to tell her the truth, when her defenses were down.
“I never loved Sarah.”
Callie blanched and stared at him, the laughter draining from her face. “Joel, do you really want to go into this now?”
“You deserve to know the truth.”
“Fine, but that’s not what she told me. She said you two had been in love for months.”
“She lied.”
“Then you must have fallen in love with her while you were married or why would you have stayed?”
“I stayed for Emma, but we had separate lives. After Emma was born, I suspected Sarah was cheating on me, so I confronted her. She admitted she had, asked my forgiveness and told me the cheating was over, but that was a lie. She went right on with her affairs. For a while I thought about having my own affairs, and even came close once or twice, more to get even with Sarah than anything else. In the end, I couldn’t do it. Not when I knew Emma was waiting for me to come home every night. I stopped pretending and admitted the truth. We were good for a few months, until Sarah started lying again. I tried to get her to stop. Even went to couples counseling, but Sarah was...well, she was your best friend. You probably knew her better than I ever could. She hated being tied down, especially to me. I know she loved Emma, but Emma was never enough. She wanted more of everything—more money, more fun, more freedom—none of which I could provide.”
“That’s not what we talked about when we were kids,” Callie told him, turning away. “Back then we both wanted a houseful of kids, a husband who we could love with all our hearts and who loved us back. Everything else, like personal careers or where we would live or how much money we would have was an afterthought to our main goals. I don’t understand any of what you’re telling me. And I have a hard time believing it.”
“I have no reason to lie to you, Callie. That young girl you knew was not the woman I married. I don’t think Sarah wanted even one child, let alone an entire houseful. Sarah was leaving me that day. Leaving me for another man. Apparently, that wasn’t the first time she considered leaving me for another man. She told me she’d almost left me two other times, but stayed because of Emma. She said they weren’t father material, but apparently this guy had proven himself to be a good dad with his own son, so she was leaving and taking Emma with her.”
Callie wrapped her arms around her stomach. He could tell his words were having a physical effect on her. She turned back around to face him.
“I don’t understand. What was she looking for?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Love, I suppose. Or money. Maybe that’s all she ever really wanted. We never talked about what was important. Our conversations were always kept on the surface.”
“You make her out to be a shallow person. Why should I believe you?”
“Because deep in your heart, I think you always knew the real Sarah.”
“Not like this. Does Polly know any of this?”
He could see tears pooling in Callie’s eyes. He knew this had to be tough to listen to, but it was important for her to understand what had really gone on for the past six years.
“Yes...well, most of it anyway. She was there the morning before Sarah’s flight when Sarah finally came clean. I’d suspected some of this, but couldn’t be sure until that morning. Days before she left, she’d told me she was going to California to visit a girlfriend, but I accidentally came across a provocative message on her phone from another man. After that, Sarah confessed. She was leaving me, flying to Vegas with her lover on his private plane and taking Emma with her.”
“That must have broken your heart.”
“It did, and I begged her to reconsider taking Emma, appealing to whatever motherly love she still felt for our daughter. I must have gotten through to her because at the last minute, she changed her mind about Emma and decided to leave her in Polly’s care. Unfortunately, she didn’t tell me she’d changed her mind, and left the house with Emma. When I first heard about the plane going down, I remember not being able to breathe or to think properly. I’d heard that all six passengers on that private plane were killed, including the flight crew.”
Callie leaned back on a stall gate, all her defenses broken as tears moistened her face. He wanted to hold her in his arms, but he could tell by her stance that she wouldn’t let him. “All those fun times we shared, all those dreams of happily-ever-after. Why? Why had she put herself on such a destructive path? What went on in your marriage or in her life that made her act out like that? Maybe I could have helped if I’d been more understanding, more forgiving and tried to talk to her.”
Joel shook his head. “I’m sure there was nothing either one of us could have done. Even her therapist couldn’t seem to help her.”
“What about her mom? I thought she and her mom were close—at least, that’s what she always told me.”
He’d never considered that Callie didn’t know about Sarah’s mom. The fact that Sarah hadn’t told Callie sent a chill down his back. He really hadn’t known what went on with his wife at all.
“Callie, I assumed she told you...her mom abandoned her when she was seventeen. Told her she was old enough to make it on her own, gave her a hundred dollars, kissed her on the cheek and left with a man Sarah hadn’t ever met. Polly took her in and helped get her into college. Her mom would call Sarah once in a while asking for money. Sarah would always find a way to get it to her, either through Polly or, later, through me. Since Sarah died, we haven’t heard from her. She’s never even met Emma.”
Callie shuddered. He didn’t want to hurt her, but she had to know the truth, had to know what really happened.
“I don’t understand why she didn’t tell me about her mom.”
“I only found out about it through Polly. Sarah didn’t like to talk about her mom much. I think she somehow felt it was her fault that her mom left. That she’d done something to push her away. I tried to get her to open up countless times, but she never would.”
Joel could tell that Callie was doing everything she could to hold back the emotion that racked her body. He hated what all this information was doing to her, and decided he’d said enough for one night.
She looked over at him—tears streaking her face, her forehead knotted, her eyes searching his for answers he didn’t have. “There must have been something...”
Without thinking about it, Joel leaned in, took Callie in his arms and held her tight. She reached around him and slid into his warmth, crying on his shoulder, allowing him to soothe her. His own emotions were still raw and came crashing up, burning his eyes and his throat. They stood there for what seemed like a long time, finding comfort in each other. Trying to cope with the pain. When he felt Callie’s body begin to relax, he gently brushed her lips with a kiss, tangling his fingers in her hair. The years they’d been apart didn’t seem to matter. His emotions ran deep for Callie...always had.
He’d always pretended that he didn’t love her anymore. That he’d gotten over her, but now he knew she was in his blood and there was nothing he could do to change it.
Holding Callie, he realized for the first time that Sarah must have known, must have realized he never stopped caring about Callie.
Joel pulled away from Callie as the revelation took hold of him, as it crept up his spine and tightened his throat.
“Maybe if I’d been honest with myself
about how I’d felt about you, been able to tell Sarah the truth, things might have gone differently.”
“We can’t change the past, Joel. What you did, and what Sarah did, already happened. We can only move forward.”
“Does that mean you’ll give me another chance?”
She stared at him for what seemed like ages. Then she said, “I should go, Joel. Maybe Polly can drive me to my truck.”
“Something happened to me that morning, Callie. I saw clearly what was important to me...what really mattered in my life, and how much family and place meant to me. I was scared to admit it when I was young, when you and I were together. I was scared because I thought I was my father’s son and couldn’t give myself to anyone. But when that plane went down and I thought my Emma was on it, my entire world came crashing down around me. I’d never in my life felt a hurt so deep or so profound. Words can’t describe how I felt that morning. Then, when Polly called to tell me Emma hadn’t been on that plane, that she was safe, with her, I knew what I had to do...how I had to change. I know now that I agreed to move to Briggs with Polly not simply because it was a place to go, but because you were here. Callie, I...”
“Joel, please stop.”
She wiped the lingering tears away from her eyes.
“Callie, I’m sorry. I thought...”
“I need time, Joel. Time to absorb everything.”
She looked deeply into his eyes as if she was searching for answers, anything that might help her to understand.
He reached out for her, but she stepped away.
“I can’t do this... I’m not... I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”
Then she spun around and hustled out of the barn.
* * *
THE NIGHT HAD been long and restless as Callie’s thoughts looped with everything that had happened and what Joel had told her about his life with Sarah. But what gave her nightmares was the thought that because of a last-minute decision on Sarah’s part, little Emma was not on that doomed flight.
Callie felt as though she’d been run over by a double-decker bus. Her shoulders and upper arms ached from holding on to the steering wheel with a death grip, and when she removed the bandage from her cheek, a bright red line ran the length of her cheekbone.